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Hacking Away...

Picked up Diablo 3 about a few weeks after launch. On the lower levels difficulty of Inferno, which is pretty rough so far... In some ways, I think this mirrors what I am feeling I'm am going through right now, and trying to 'pick up items' to 'level up' and boost myself.

I look around and having been celebrating a lot of happiness around me. From weddings, to the arrival of new babies into this world, to birthday and anniversaries, and I wonder... 'Tis the season. Everyone, it seems like, is in some state of flux and change this year, and I'm just not keeping up.

Hardest part trying to keep up with the changes of friendships over the last year. Many have left, or are moving on, as should I. Though, seems to get strangely a bit harder the older you get. Many are in transition to new paths of life, and the bonds holding me to Calgary are getting weaker and weaker... Still, not quite there yet..

Had a one-on-one with the new executive director at my new job. One hour meeting became almost two and half. I told him I truly believe in the work that we do. I love the team and the work that I do, but I don't know if I can afford to do it, or afford to be here. Financially, its becoming a bit of a burden, as non-profit social service, I just can't even keep up with inflation... Though, lately, I've been recognizing the physical, emotional and mental toll, its taken on me... Can't even deny it anymore...

So I'm disconnecting a few things down in my life. Or at least trying to...Namely emotions and feelings, but I don't have a restart button at this time. So focusing on the little battles. The ones I know that make a difference and are key to moving forward. This though, means pushing a few key people away, despite how much they mean to me.. But as my friend says, "Pain is a great teacher".